journalism instincts running low tonight. im beginning to find the idea of mundanity and bland, uninteresting prospects almost appealing to my tastes as a result of a recent, closely shocking and incredulous discovery. hmm. gotta say, creepy.

when you have good life sailing and pictures of perfection and neat robust dispositions - is it hypocrisy or what? is it just plain good life or what? is it pride overflowing or what? or what, my cynism reaching an all time high? taxing to detect pretense and now, sensitive to excellent coverups and wonderful actors. my life is gonna be so great in the next coming year in class i promise.

above the knack of sounding sarcastic for everything i didnt mean for, i think i have bad judgement and trust issues. i have immense levels of paranoia and i seem to only battle them upfront when im with you. other than that, i think there is no other honesty and kindness in the world.

now i understand why the blooming intellects have problems relating with us of blighting hopefulness and a never-ceasing flow of zestiness. the world is warped and they are smart enough to analyse, break down and understand every fibre of this cheating, deceitful society. why it is so excruciating to believe even at the slightest level the promise of forgiveness acceptance and unconditional love. i have wrapped my head around a happy pillar of oblivion and blissfulness despite my proud, continual claims of knowing where i stand and what i know. yes, its this ugly. ew.

and so, this can be a platform for greater cynism for well meaning (seemingly or not since they are still unexposed) people in my life. is this merely a palace of fools living in worship of ignorance, insecurity and self imposed rules to self protect or truly my happy place, my refuge, my crib, my cradle of joy, my eternal life, my loving family, home?

i takes great faith. but hotel california aside wynnie would glady want to say its the latter. :)

and to a very blurry meet with the NE alumni. bad pictures. bad lighting. but very lovely ppl. yup. matchsticks matchsticks matchsticks.






say ciao!